1. In your garage the drill-press, band-saw, chain-saw and tool boxes all have matching cozies.
2. Your mechanic opens the hood of your car only to discover that the distributer is made entirely of fingering weight wool in a seed stitch.
3. Yarn store employees simply refer to you as “The Enforcer.”
4. When you drive past a field, all the sheep stare at you nervously.
5. Ever since “the last unfortunate incident” when the local yarn stores have a sale of 30% off, the fire marshal must be notified.
6. Your children have no idea that their beloved dog “Skippy” is actually a llama.
7. Skippy is bald.
8. Ever since the “other” last unfortunate incident, the employees at the local yarn store must be certified in CPR, crowd control, and wear riot gear when there is a sale of 50% or more.
9. The local shepard has a five-hundred foot restraining order in place against you.
10. You are reading this and laughing hysterically, but not because it’s funny….
Copyright © 2000, 2001 Wendy Walton
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