Holiday Stress and Knit Nonsense

Date: Tue, 1 Dec 1998
From: “The Tocker Family”
Subject: Knit: Holiday Stress and Knit Nonsense

Hi Knitsibs:
This is my first holiday season on the KL and after catching up on my ever-growing rack of knitlist emails, it has become horribly apparent that we are in serious need of some pre-holiday knitting levity. Or at least I am after reading your posts.

OK, if you’re not into my brand of weird humor, delete now. And if you’re going to continue reading, please remember the light-hearted spirit in which this was intended.

(Ahem..Stepping up on the soapbox) Why are you guys getting yourselves in a bind? (One, asbestos longjohns-check!) All you Xmas knitters have more than 3 weeks to finish up those holiday projects! Those of us knitting for Chanukah only have 13-21 days left! Aren’t 8-day holidays great? (Two, asbestos balaclava-check!) Also, please enlighten me-when is Kwanzaa? And what knitted items would be appropriate as gifts? And, for further enlightenment, what other holidays occur at this time of year for which one can knit? Hey, after all, we are on the WORLDWIDE WEB. (Three, asbestos socks-check!)

I’ve been a very good girl this year and have made all my Israeli relatives mohair Chanukah menorah shrugs a la Leigh Witchel (Horrors! Nine-arms! The menorah that is! Sorry Leigh!) and my famous boilable white cotton jelly-filled doughnut cosies by the dozen. (In case you don’t know-it is traditional to eat foods that are deep-fried in oil at Chanukah in commemoration of the miracle of the miniscule amount of menorah oil burning for eight days. Israelis chose jelly-filled doughnuts, and what other way is there to eat them but HOT! Works for me, my hips, my thighs, my ….)

One would think that the need to complete these holiday projects has taken over your lives! (Four, asbestos gloves-check!) But, if that were true, you wouldn’t have time to look at those retail catalogs and ask yourself, “Well! If they can buy it for THAT much-why bother knitting at all?!” (Five, full-body asbestos outer suit-CHECK!!)

A couple of practical suggestions to reduce pre-holiday stress: 1) eat regularly and 2) yep, you guessed it, sleep regularly! Above all, don’t worry! You’ll make your deadline and everyone will be thrilled with your hand/machine knitted gift! And if they aren’t, here’s the snail mail address to send them to: (the gifts-not the intended recepients).

(Stepping off soapbox, readying the oil for frying the jelly-filled doughnuts in anticipation of the in-coming flames and wondering to myself if anyone will EVER read another one of my posts again!)

Back to looking up materials for yet another workshop. And finishing up the rest of my pre-holiday knitting. 🙂 (knit one, stick one-da*n jelly!)

Yours in knitting,

Jennifer
A former Minnesotan now living in Israel, who misses the x-country skiing but not the highway variety!

Addendum: Additional Winter Holidays To Knit For

Hi again knitsibs-
Thanks to the knitlisters who passed on this information and the listmoms for letting me indulge in a second post on this topic.

For your knitting pressure, oops, pleasure, here are more winter holidays and festivals that you can knit for just in case the current batch isn’t enough:

* Beethovan’s Birthday -Dec 17 (thank you Penny)
* UK: Dec 26-Boxing Day (Traditionally it was the day servants, tradespeople etc. were given their Christmas boxes.(Thank you, Celia)
* Scotland: Hogmanny (sp) or Burn’s night (again thank you, Celia)
* Yule (Thanks, Donna)
* The Winter Solstice and associated holidays both ancient (thanks, Donna) and modern.
* Divali-a Hindu festival of lights that takes place in early winter. (Encarta98)
* Kwanzaa-an African holiday celebrated for seven days and nights from December 26 to January 1. (Encarta98)
* Homstrom (celebrated February 3) in Switzerland (Encarta98)
* Kalevala Day (February 28) in Finland (Encarta98)
* The Chinese New Year-celebrated for an entire month in late January or February (Encarta98)
* And please indulge my past civic pride, the St. Paul MN Winter Carnival, which is an event to be knitted for if ever there was one!! Down Vulcan! Up Borias! (and are the Nagano ice-sculpters coming this year?)
* Mardi Gras-mid-February, IMHO an eyelash yarn stash reduction festival for sure.
* And lastly on my list for now, Beach Day (December 8), marking the beginning of the beach season in Uruguay. (Encarta98) Barely enough time to whip up a string bikini!

Disclaimer:
This list is most definitely partial and incomplete and probably only somewhat accurate to boot.

A word of apology and credit: the idea for the asbestos suit being put on in stages was not my original idea but had appeared on the KL earlier this year and the vision just stuck in my head. (Thank goodness something stuck! At this point I was beginning to wonder if the ol’ “inbox” was broken!)

FO’s: 2 bookmarks. Who has time for more with all this winter holiday research to do?

Yours in knitting,

Jennifer

Copyright © 1998 Yarnaholic Confessions All Rights Reserved.
No portion of this document may be copied in any format without the written consent of the copyright holder.

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