Brief Order of Public Confession of My Knitting Sins

Gentle Knitters,

I needed a break from all the Minute-and-a-Half summer tops I have been making for my friend, Ms. Minute-and-a-Half, (who is a size 1 adult!!!), so I went sorting through my knitting files. I found my “Brief Order of Public Confession” which Becky Otto and Jeff McKinney and I presented at the Meg Swansen First-Timer Knitting Camp in 1993.

I thought I’d share it here with disclaimers.

I in no way intend to ridicule the Lutheran faith. If you are Lutheran and do not have a sense of humor, stop right now and delete this message.

I in no way intend to ridicule Elizabeth Zimmermann. If you have no sense of her own humor, stop right now and delete this message.

Having said that, I now present my Brief Order of Public Confession of My Knitting Sins:

Father, forgive me:

1. I have purchased yarn beyond my capabilities to knit for the next decade.
2. I have used knitting needles which were not circular.
3. I have mingled unrelated dyelots.
4. I have slavishly followed a commercial pattern without regard to gauge, pattern or shaping.
5. I have twisted threads when I knitted with two colors.
6. I have created a “Wudge” (inadvertently) (You Knitting Campers know what I’m talking about!).
7. I have carried a thread in back for more than five stitches (or one inch).
8. I have stored my woolens in an attic infected with M***s.
9. I have accepted a ((SHEEP)) imitation.
10. I have picked up through ANY convenient loop,
and worst of all,

11. I have taught an innocent child to purl first.

Becky or Jeff, if you’re on this list, drop me a line. I’m as big a sinner now as I was seven years ago!

Caroline Laudig
Caroline’s Culture Ranch, home of the Unruly Wool Room

Copyright © 2000 by Caroline Laudig. All Rights Reserved.

Originally sent to the KnitList in July 2000 by Caroline Laudig and appears here with her permission.

No portion of this document may be copied in any format without the written consent of the copyright holder.

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